Basic Fear: Of being corrupt, evil, defective (imbalanced)
Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be in balance with everything
(Damaging) Self-Image: You are in a position to judge everything (and everyone) entirely objectively.
Level 1: Level of Liberation
Behaviors (outer): wise, humane, noble, generous, uplifting, kind, pure
Attitudes (inner): accepting, life-affirming, tolerant, truly realistic, hopeful, accepting ambiguity
Self-Actualization: Let go of your identification with a particular self-image, that you are in a position to judge anything entirely objectively
The Fear that will kick you down to a less healthy level: Of being corrupt, evil, defective; being imbalanced. Being afraid that doing “wrong” (i.e., making a mistake) means that you, as an entire person, are wrong (i.e., defective).
The Counterintuitive truth that you have to face to move to a healthier level: N/A
Level 2: Level of Psychological Capacity
Behaviors (outer): reasonable, objective, moderate, sensible, prudent, modest
Attitudes (inner): conscientious, moral, rational, discerning, evaluating, composed
Desires (why do you act and think these ways): To be good, to have integrity, to be in balance with everything
The Fear that will kick you down to a less healthy level: Being afraid that your subjective feelings and impulses will lead you astray or impair your reason. You have to be completely “objective” in order to maintain your self-image.
The Counterintuitive truth that you have to face to move to a healthier level: Let go of being “good.” No one makes all of the right decisions or foresees all possible consequences. Having integrity is not about making zero mistakes; it’s about owning up to your mistakes.
Level 3: Level of Social Value
Behaviors (outer): responsible, truthful, self-disciplined, articulate, just, fair, teach by example, civilized
Attitudes (inner): principled, sense of mission, ethical, impartial, purposeful, impassioned, have convictions
Desires (why do you act and think these ways): To act in accordance with your conscience and reason
The Fear that will kick you down to a less healthy level: That others are indifferent to your principles. At this level, your principles begin to be less about maintaining your own integrity and more about policing the integrity of others.
The Counterintuitive truth that you have to face to move to a healthier level: Do not hold so tightly to acting always in accordance with the dictates of your conscience and reason. No one acts reasonably and logically all the time. Try to loosen up and live in the moment…at least once in a while.
Level 4: Level of Imbalance
Behaviors (outer): striving, reforming, debating, remedying, “pointing out,” explaining, advocating, refined
Attitudes (inner): idealistic, obligated, driven, should/must, elitist, have certainty, “making progress,” serious
Desire (why do you act and think these ways): To “fix”/improve yourself and your world
The Fear that will kick you down to a less healthy level: You begin to believe that you will be “condemned” by others for deviating from your own ideals. Your focus shifts more and more to what others are doing or thinking.
The Counterintuitive truth that you have to face to move to a healthier level: Personal growth is about more than just “improving” yourself. It also includes learning to “just be” or learning to “not do.” Especially, you have to let go of the self-image that it is up to you to “fix” everyone else whether they want to be fixed or not.
Level 5: Level of Interpersonal Control
Behaviors (outer): orderly, impersonal, opinionated, rigid, punctual, brusque/”short,” methodical, precise/”clipped”
Attitudes (inner): self-controlled, impatient, irritable, “narrow”/dry, scrupulous, self-critical, feel guilty, emotionally constricted
Desires (why do you act and think these ways): That everything in your life be consistent with your ideals
The Fear that will kick you down to a less healthy level: Other people are the problem. If left unsupervised, others will mess up the tenuous balance of order that you have achieved.
The Counterintuitive truth that you have to face to move to a healthier level: Let go of the belief (or “need”) for everything in your life to be consistent with your ideals, especially other people. You can set an example for others, but the rest is up to them.
Level 6: Level of Overcompensation
Behaviors (outer): critical, badgering, correcting, argumentative, sarcastic, moralizing, strident, workaholic
Attitudes (inner): judgmental, angry, perfectionistic, picky, demanding, uncompromising, unsympathetic, stern, strict, condescending
Desires (why do you act and think these ways): To reproach others for not meeting your ideals/standards
The Fear that will kick you down to a less healthy level: It may occur to you that you are not the problem, and other people are not the problem, but, perhaps, it is your ideals themselves. Maybe, your ideals are actually wrong.
The Counterintuitive truth that you have to face to move to a healthier level: Don’t shift the blame. Other people are not the issue or the problem. You can’t control others; concern yourself with your response(s) alone.
Level 7: Level of Violation
Behaviors (outer): inflexible, vitriolic, no negotiations, closed-minded, unreasonable, severe, harsh
Attitudes (inner): intolerant, self-righteous, rationalizing, absolutistic, bitter, misanthropic
Desires (why do you act and think these ways): To justify yourself and silence criticism (from self and others)
The Fear that will kick you down to a less healthy level: That you are becoming irrational (unable to even know whether your ideas are wrong or not).
The Counterintuitive truth that you have to face to move to a healthier level: Let go of trying to justify yourself – to others or to yourself. You can’t silence criticism by paying more and more attention to it. Go to therapy.
Level 8: Level of Delusion and Compulsion
Behaviors (outer): contradictory, hypocritical, fetishistic, untruthful, arbitrary
Attitudes (inner): obsessive compulsive, “possessed,” displacing, fixated
Desires (why do you act and think these ways): To consciously control your unconscious/irrational impulses
The Fear that will kick you down to a less healthy level: You begin to fear that you are losing all control over yourself.
The Counterintuitive truth that you have to face to move to a healthier level: While you can control a lot (which is not healthy), no one can consciously control their unconscious impulses. Stop focusing on the aspects of your character that by definition are beyond your control. Go to therapy.
Level 9: Level of Pathological Destructiveness
Behaviors (outer): punishing, cruel, wrathful, attacking, sadistic
Attitudes (inner): condemnatory, hateful, merciless, furious, hysterical
Desires (why do you act and think these ways): To rid yourself of the apparent cause(s) of your obsessions and emotional disorder
The Fear that will kick you down to a less healthy level: N/A. The basic fear is realized. You have become imbalanced, possibly corrupt or “evil.” You’ve completely lost your objectivity.
The Counterintuitive truth that you have to face to move to a healthier level: No easy move. Go to (residential) therapy. Begin to work back by acknowledging the lie that started the whole process. It is a lie that you are in a position to judge anything entirely objectively.