What do you do when the game is unfair? What do you do when life is unfair?
There comes a time in every person’s life when he or she discovers that just because you are trying to be fair – to be good, to do what’s right, to do what’s expected of you – there is no guarantee that others will be doing the same.
Now, I’m not bringing up this issue to be cynical or pessimistic about human nature; rather, I am talking about our own response to an unfair situation. What should we do?
As a religious person, it is tempting to think that we should adhere to the letter of the law no matter what, but…is that the best answer?
Let’s think about this for a bit – and let’s use some different perspectives to do it.
What do you do when unfairness becomes the unsolvable puzzle?
What do you do when unfairness becomes the unwinnable scenario?
What do you do when unfairness becomes the impossible task?
And…what do you do when unfairness involves the abuse of power?
This last perspective puts me in mind of a thought-experiment proposed by Dietrich Bonhoeffer:
“As an example, Bonhoeffer imagines a child who is asked by his teacher in front of his class whether it is true that his father often comes home drunk. Though his father may indeed frequently come home drunk, Bonhoeffer argues that because the child has a moral obligation to honour his father, he is justified in answering the question with a ‘no’ though it is literally untrue. Though the child has lied, in Bonhoeffer’s view, he has acted truthfully in a deeper sense.” – Bonhoeffer by Stephen Plant, p. 124
When the abuse of power becomes a factor, our responsibility ceases to be to the literal “right,” and it shifts to the need to be kind – to show love – in that situation. Does that mean that we are now “right” instead of “wrong.” Interestingly, Bonhoeffer would say, “No.” We still carry the responsibility of wrong, even if it is due to a bad situation. Once again, we’re talking about when life is unfair. When the game is unfair, we don’t get the opportunity to be right.
However, we never cease to have the ability to show kindness and love in a situation. That’s the option that’s hiding — the way to innovate, the possibility of slicing through the Gordian knot. That’s the third option that we need.
Let me approach this through another “hypothetical” situation, let’s say you come into the world and find that your people are an oppressed and angry minority. They sense leadership within you, and they want you to lead them against the oppressing nation (heck, let’s say they call you something weird like…Messiah). What if you see that it is a false division? Whether you’re an oppressed Jew or an oppressing Roman, you’re still a human ultimately – and you can’t have a war without people dying.
Wouldn’t you start looking for a third option? Perhaps, you would find a way to show your oppressed people that kindness and love can turn defeat into victory…hmm…you know, someone should really write a story about that, shouldn’t they? 😉