So often, we want to escape suffering – to escape our pain. On the path to wisdom in our lives, there is no path “up” that doesn’t first lead us “through.” I really hate that. There is a part of me that always feels “If I were smart enough…” or “If I were spiritual enough…”, then, somehow, I could avoid problems. But, NO, here I am again in the mess that I made.
Do you ever feel like that?
If so, keep reading. If not, run far away from here, and try to stay in your perfect world 🙂
I’ve written before about the Enneagram. I really love this tool for spiritual growth. It has all of the “fun” of a personality test, but it is so much more than just finding your “perfect” type. It is the only tool of its kind that focuses on how you can grow as a person in a deep and abiding way THROUGH your own quirky way of looking at the world.
With that in mind, I want to talk about the “arrows” of each Enneagram type. Each Enneagram type is connected to two other types along a continuum of integration and disintegration.
Let me explain a bit of what I mean through an example.
For instance, I’m a Nine (I know what you’re thinking – “Yeah, I bet he might pass for forty but never nine.”). Nines are typically referred to as the “Peacemakers.” We’re easygoing, receptive, reassuring, and agreeable BUT also complacent, self-effacing, stubborn, and lazy. (See how the good of a type comes with the bad?) Nines are connected to Type Three and Type Six. When I start becoming healthier as a person, I start taking on some of the traits of a healthy Three: self-assured, energetic, and ambitious. Now, I’ll never be a Three, but I start to show some of these qualities in my own relaxed and sleepy Nine-ish way. Conversely, when I become unhealthy, I go to Six. And, I don’t just go to the good side of a Six. Oh no, I take on only the negative aspects of a Six. I become paranoid, panicky, suspicious, and distrustful. I’m still a Nine, but I start to look like a Six at their worst.
Okay, so that’s how the arrows work.
Here’s the piece I want to add, but…I don’t want to. I really hate this part.
We HAVE to go through to go up.
You see, if I’m going to become a deep, healthy person – a self-actualized Nine (to borrow some language from psychology) or a redeemed and transformed “new creation” of a Nine (to borrow some language from theology) – then I’ve got to go through Six to get there.
Ouch!
The life task of a Nine is to know peace; however, we Nines go looking for peace in our outer environment. The peace we need to self-actualize is inner peace. It’s inside all along, BUT we can only get there by going through our negativity at Six to see ourselves through the eyes of what is central to a Six – Courage and Trust – in order to come out on the other side at inner peace.
Let’s look at it like this:
Nine wants Outer Peace — so goes to Six to find Faith – and ends up with Inner Peace
Now, let’s take it through the other Types and their arrows of disintegration.
One wants to be Perfect — so goes to Four to find Authenticity – and ends up with Contentment
Two wants Love — so goes to Eight to find Strength – and ends up with Authentic Love (loved for themselves not what they can do for others)
Three wants Success — so goes to Nine to find Peace — and ends up with Value and Worth
Four wants Authenticity — so goes to Two to find Love — and ends up with Purpose
Five wants Knowledge — so goes to Seven to find Adventure — and ends up with Capability
Six wants Security — so goes to Three to find Ambition — and ends up with Inner Courage
Seven wants Fun — so goes to One to find Purpose — and ends up with Focus
Eight wants Control — so goes to Five to find Focus — and ends up with Heroism
Now, of course, I’m looking at these progressions very optimistically – too optimistically (which is a big Nine thing). You go through HELL at your unhealthiest. Going in your direction of disintegration brings you to rock bottom – at least whatever is rock bottom for you. All of your “ego projects” and coping mechanisms have to fail, but when they do, and you’re at the bottom, then you – then we – can learn from our arrow of disintegration and find the piece of ourselves that we need to “integrate,” to “self-actualize,” to be “saved,” — to become the person we were always meant to be.
So, when we fall…there is still hope…maybe more hope than we could ever imagine.